Questionnaire - Are You A Houseplant Addict?

"Hi, my name is Jacob, and I am a houseplant addict."
So, you think you might have a problem, huh?

 

Take this test to see if you are a houseplant addict!

1. Has a dying house plant ever made you cry?

2. Do any of your house plants have names?

3. Is your Instagram feed full of plants?

4. When you see plants on sale, are you physically incapable of leaving the store without buying one?

5. Do you buy plants to later realise you have no room for it?

6. Have you discovered that cup-holders in cars are the perfect size for small planters?

7. Do you 'baby' your plants by grooming & rearranging them weekly?

8. Have you ever had to rearrange your house plants to make room for guests?

9. Have you ever had a quiet little chat with one of your house plants?

10. Have you totally lost track of how much money you've spent on plants & supplies?

 

Houseplant Addiction Score

No To Everything = Congrats! You are not at risk of houseplant addiction. You lead a bland life filled with unrewarding activities. Your mates tease you about your 'Brown Thumb'. You hire people to do your gardening.

Prognosis: You will lead a long, healthy life as you watch your artificial plants gather dust. 

1 - 3 Yes = You are mostly normal, but beginning to show signs of addiction. you spend an hour at the store choosing the one perfect plant to take home with you. You have a small plant stand for displaying your plants. You are learning how to take better care of your house plants.

Prognosis: 50-50 chance at recovery. It's not too late to this addiction in the bud (pun definitely intended). Avoid nurseries and garden shows.

4 - 7 Yes = You are a borderline houseplant addict. You have installed hanging planters because your dwelling is running out of surface area. The words "plant sale" cause your heart to flutter. You know the difference between vermiculite and perlite, and you have a designated transplanting zone in your home. You have purchased your first bonsai.

Prognosis: Houseplant addiction is a progressive illness that will get dramatically worse over time, it may be too late to stop. Seek professional counseling.

8 - 10 Yes = You are a certified houseplant addict. You pretend that your philodendrons are competing in a "longest vine" race. You have a favorite brand of potting soil. You took pictures when your spider plant had it's first babies. You build or buy plant stands to replace most of your furniture. You decorate your plants for the holidays.

Prognosis: There is no cure to houseplant addiction, so you may as well enjoy it.

 

If you're a plant addict, you might be interested in reading: 13 Pitfalls Of Being A Houseplant Addict

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